1. Treating her nipples like Otter Pops
“Nipple play doesn’t really do anything for me. It’s kind of whatever. But what really creeps me out is when a guy is just down there forever... like he’s breastfeeding.” - Gabi, 28
Some guys will latch on harder than a dehydrated newborn. Not only is it uncomfortably Oedipal, it’s not even comfortable, let alone erotic. Our nips are super sensitive, with varying degrees of sensitivity throughout the month, so play accordingly. Gentle licking and sucking can be truly spectacular, so long as it doesn’t feel like you’re trying to milk us. And if you’re going to use your hands, knock it off with the pinching. They’re breasts, not udders. In any case, if your girl likes it harder, she’ll let you know.
2. Appropriating her orgasm
“I was hooking up with this guy, and told him the best way to get me off was to do stuff to my clit, preferably with [his] mouth. Easy enough, right? So, we start having sex, and it was good, but then he starts saying ‘Cum for me, baby.’ Whaaat? It's not gonna happen ‘for you.’ And I literally just told you how to make me cum. Ugh. Get it together, dude.” - Meredith, 27
The time it’s okay to tell a woman, “Cum for me,” is when she is actually doing it. Otherwise, “Cum for me,” just sounds like shorthand for, “Just do it, already.” Rude! And most importantly, it’s her orgasm, not yours. She wants to climax, and it’s not to make you feel better. She had a rough day too. Further, if you’re lucky enough to be with a woman who communicates her needs (and extra points if you asked her), for the love of God, LISTEN. Listen like there’s going to be a test later, and if you pass there will be peace in the Middle East and the polar ice caps will un-melt. Not all women can orgasm through penetration alone, and your unit isn’t going to change her physiology.