Dena let me know that novices like myself with a high sex drive and genuine respect for the industry get a gold star. Girls looking for a quick payout are not good for the ranch, as they bring high turnover and unsatisfied clients.
Next, she asked what kind of experience I had. Well… I worked as a (fully clothed) waitress, have a vibrator, enjoy sex with people (one at a time thus far), and have been told I'm very good at oral. Oh! I also have a friend who's a stripper.
"What do you think about sex?" Dena asked next. "What is your sexual knowledge?" I rated myself at intermediate: not quite a Junior Scout, but definitely not a Brownie.
Dena said she's not looking for a Kama Sutra genius, but she does want the girls to have a firm understanding of pleasure. This question also helps her know what sort of training and education the girl will need should she be brought onto the ranch as a lady.
The rest of the questions were fairly straightforward: what would my family think of me working there? What would my schedule be like? Did I have any kids or pets to worry about?
Interview survivors move on to training week
After the interview comes training week; a nerve-wracking experience held on-site at Sheri's Ranch. Candidates learn every little detail of what employment there looks like. And while I didn't attend myself, I was offered an inside look at the fifth and final step of the hiring process.
DAY ONE: During orientation, new trainees get a mountain of paperwork and literature in addition to a tour of the resort (the term coined for Sheri's Ranch's entire property) which includes a hotel, spa, and tennis court. Most important during orientation is the breakdown of Dick Checks -- any ranch worker's most important skill.
Dick Checks are just what they sound like: the girl checks a dick up and down for any sign of a sexually transmitted infection or other malady. Should a penis fail this check, the customer is asked to leave.
DAY TWO: Prospective workers visit with a doctor to receive medical clearance. If the trainee gets medical clearance, it's off to the sheriff for legal clearance and to receive her card stating as much.
On the evening of the second day, potential ranchers hit the bar with the hostess or the trainee's Big Sister. The bar is where the customers meet the ladies, and where the business of the brothel starts cooking.