And speaking of orgasms... anyone with a tribal tat/tramp stamp
Liiiisten, we’re not here to judge. We have ALL walked the noble path to this pleasure palace. Tribal tats/tramp stamps signal late nights, narrow escapes, and toe-curling sex. It’s all very exciting as you hop aboard their motorcycle and cruise off someplace where you can then have sex on that motorcycle. But there’s nothing here for you besides mind-blowing orgasms. Like, mind blowing. Oh fuck it... have a great time!
Anyone who needs to be “fixed”
This is a tough one, because you often don’t know you’re with these people until you’re so far in and then, ugh, you love them. And understandably you want to do everything you can to help. But... you aren’t going to fix them. At least, not you alone. Everyone has demons, but some demons take a lot to work through and no matter how hard you try, it just might not be enough. Here’s to achievable projects in 2016, like finishing that Puzz-3D of the Titanic that you started 20 years ago.
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Meagan Drillinger is a contributing writer for Thrillist and will probably take none of her own advice this year. That's what 2017 is for.