Scenario 9: You down a massive dinner
Matt: This is not a good idea. Unless you’ve found a woman who’s turned on by mid-sex garlic burps to the face, you’re going to end up being a bad sex story. A bad sex story with a nasty sideache.
Liz: I’ve never been a big fan of dinner on a first date. That's a boyfriend date. But should this massive dinner happen, odds are certainly slim. I’ll just want to go to sleep.
Matt: Good, well I’m never taking a girl to dinner on a first date again. Just saved me, like, $500 a month. THANKS LIZ!
Scenario 10: You end up at a strip club
Liz: That's really just a Florida thing.
Matt: Swingers club?
Liz: Still a Florida thing. [Editor's note: both correspondents have lived in Florida]
Scenario 11: You will never, ever date this person, but are extremely attracted to him/her.
Matt: Why is this even on here?
Liz: You know why, Matt? Because it’s almost impossible for two people to ever be on the same page in that regard. Because for most of us, with sex comes emotions. So if you actually stumble across this sexual unicorn, ride it for at least a little while. A true fuck buddy is just as hard (maybe harder) to find as true love.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.
Thrillist staff writer Matt Meltzer used to be in charge of our Miami edition, and actually dated the person who had the job before him. Check out all the big meals he doesn't eat on dates on Instagram @meltrez1.
Liz Newman used to be the editor of Thrillist's Miami edition, and actually dated the person who had the job after her. Follow her @lizn813 on Twitter and Instagram.