Assuring the public that their newest creation is "real and incredible," Oscar Mayer has released Sizzl, an actual dating app for bacon lovers. Delicious pun aside, this is a fully functioning app created by the people who brought you bologna and the Weinermobile...damn, it feels good to be an American.
How does a bacon-centric dating app work, you ask? Well, it's actually quite simple; Sizzl takes cues from the hugely popular Tinder (you've heard of Tinder, right?) by allowing users to search through nearby matches who like the kind of bacon you like.
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The first few questions you're asked are the standard "I am a ___ interested in ___" and then they head straight to the good stuff by inquiring about the type of bacon you're into (pork, turkey, or both) and how you take your meat: "Hardwood smoked for a really long time," "Thick Cut, because more is more," "Maple and sweet like me," and "Lower Sodium!"
After a few more bacon-focused inquiries, you're shown matches with whom you can chat about bacon, puppies, casual sex, or whatever.
At the moment, the app is a little buggy and crashed a few times when tested, but beggars can't be choosers in the world of meat-based dating apps.
Do they want us to find love or is it all just a ploy to get people into Oscar Mayer's delicious bacon that's "passionately cured for 12 hours, and lovingly smoke-housed for another 12"?Hard to say. But if it's the latter, and the former is a consequence, well, we'll take it.
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Jeremy Glass is a writer for Thrillist and will never not eat bacon.