Sex + Dating

The Amazing Life Lessons I've Gathered From Being a Slut

being a slut
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

To be a slut or not to be a slut, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to have vanilla sex or to get the peen t'wherever it may dangle.-- William Shakespeare, probably

People think being a slut is a bad thing. I say screw those people.

Being a slut is the best. Not to say it doesn't have its share of pitfalls, mind you. The word "slut" is derogatory. It suggests easiness, STDs, and acting cheap. Seriously, forget all that. Having many sexual partners is part of living a full and rich life. You learn so much from all the people you meet and explore sexual terrain with. There is nothing as intimate as getting intimate.

The world is a crazy, beautiful, and weird place. Being a slut means not giving a shit about lame boundaries or what sexuality is supposed to mean to you. Sticks and stones can break my bones, but I'd rather have the twig and berries. Here are all the amazing, wonderful, and wild life lessons I've gathered from being a big old SLUT.

People are mean, and that's really OK

When you're a slut, you learn to laugh off the haters pretty quickly. And there will be haters -- lots of them. In high school, I had a friend turn on me because her boyfriend didn't like me. I walked by the two of them in a group and the entire gang started screaming, "SLUT!" and "WHORE!" at me.

It stung, sure. But forget those guys -- how sad for them that they felt the need to victimize me because they were so bored with their own lives. I'm pretty sure that friend still lives at home with her parents and I'm having the last laugh.

When you're a slut, your skin will thicken up and none of the BS will matter to you. At the end of the day, they look like insecure assholes and you wind up on top (!).

Social standards are total crap

Being a proud slut makes you a little radical because your very existence is radical to the hoity-toity people around you. You're a woman who loves sex and doesn't care what other people think about that. Your very lifestyle is a giant middle finger to society. To be a slut is to be a nonconformist simply by loving orgasms.

And it's completely great. Being scrutinized for enjoying such a basic, normal human act will really put social standards into perspective. You most definitely figure out that half the things you believed were total garbage.

Safety is non-negotiable

It's a scary world out there, especially for women. We have to be aware of that and do everything we can to protect ourselves. When you spend a lot of time having sex with a lot of people, you figure out how to take care of yourself. Taking precautions to assure your safety becomes second nature.

You carefully assess situations before you get into them. You take precautions in case the guy you met in that dingy dive bar is a total creep; you always drop in a pin at your location for your bestie, and yes, condoms are never up for discussion.  

Real friends don't judge you

Being sex-positive will ward off the stuck-up grouches and leave you surrounded with the coolest people in the world. Being a slut forces you to take a good, long look at the company you keep. After a while, you don't have a tolerance for judgmental people.

The coolest girl gang (and boy gang) you hold court with turns out to be the best on the planet. You take care of each other because you get each other. The best people you'll ever meet are sluts.

A guy you actually want to date doesn't care about your past

It feels like women are always freaking out about guys thinking they're "too slutty." If there's one lesson I've learned, it's that any guy who is worth your time won't give a rat's ass about your past.

I'm not saying he has to be turned on by the fact that you've had sex with a lot of people; I'm saying he shouldn't see it as a negative or a reason not to wife you up. He's probably had his fair share of sexual conquests in the past. Get over yourself, boy.

If a guy tries to shame you or makes you feel uncomfortable about your sexual history, that's not a guy you want in your life. A man who is actually going to be a good boyfriend and husband is one who knows that you're a human woman with natural desires and respects that about you.

And yeah, he'll also get that your life experiences (SLUT experiences included!) have turned you into the absolute babe you are today.

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Gigi Engle is Thrillist's Sex and Dating staff writer. For Gigi, being a slut is a way of life. Follow her lovable crazy on Twitter, iTunesFacebook, and Instagram @GigiEngle.