"Do you have a boyfriend?"
She does. He’s the bouncer. And he’s gonna get super mad if you get grabby. (Also, the bouncer is every other dancer’s boyfriend, so just don’t ask.)
"I hope you know that you're beautiful."
Best-case scenario, this might inspire the dancer to request that the DJ play a little more Christina Aguilera up in this place. Worst case? Well, there's really no worst case here. It's a nice thing to say. That's why everybody else said it, too.
"What do you do for work?"
“I’m actually a sociologist who’s just doing this to get an understanding of strip-club culture so I can write a book,” says the woman who is currently on the clock and being paid not to puke on you for asking stupid questions.
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Andy Kryza is a senior editor at Thrillist who is often described as looking like "Magic Mike's doughy, awkward adopted brother." He'll take it. Follow him to the change machine @apkryza.