"Can you change the song?"
“Sure, can I get you a drink and some food while I’m up?” would be the best sarcastic answer to the question, if the likely un-sarcastic reply wasn’t most certainly “sure!”
"I actually just came in for a beer."
So, wait. Instead of going to the corner bar, you decided to go to a place crawling with naked people who work for tips, then sit at the bar and ogle without actually paying for the experience? Even if you’re wearing a blindfold, pay the nice ladies.
"Can I get the, um, VIP treatment?"
Always -- always -- listen to Chris Rock.
"What are your dreams?"
“Settling down with you, having a bunch of beautiful children. Maybe getting a boat and sailing around the Horn of Africa whilst eating fresh-caught fish and sipping mai tais provided by our personal bartender.” Oh, wait, that’s your dream. Hers is not getting harassed by you in exchange for a chintzy tip.