What kind of a weirdo doesn't sweat cologne?
"I broke up with him because his sweat smelled like seaweed." -- anonymous Thrillist staffer
At least she didn't look like a Smurf
"I stopped seeing a girl because my friends told me she looked like a Monchichi and I couldn't stop hearing the Monchichi theme song when I was, um, sexing her. That's a very, very true story. I was on the pot a lot back then." -- anonymous Thrillist staffer
This dude was a real Milton
"I was dumped by a guy I worked with because he saw me let the intern borrow my stapler. The intern was new and given no office supplies, and I sat right next to him. Instead of making him wander around the office, I figured I would give him mine.
"The guy I was seeing sat a few desks away from me, saw this, and accused me of coming on to the intern, claiming that he 'couldn't give his whole heart' to me because I was too big of a flirt. I was justing lending out office supplies, not giving out lap dances by the copy machine!" -- anonymous Thrillist staffer