"I get it," says Wayne, 27. "She’s been drinking with her friends. But I never know if she's so hammered that she wants my help, or just wants my penis."
Truthfully, she wants your attention. Notice a theme yet? Plus, any of her uninhibited commentary or "Miss u, let's cuddle" texts will be less abashing for her the next morning if she let you know she was wasted upfront. Depending on your reaction, she can always pretend she was blacked out and doesn't remember sending it.
Also, she wants you to know that she's having fun without you.
This is how we know technology has doomed our society: in today’s world, a properly placed comma or period in a text message can cause emotional outcry. "When a girl writes out a properly punctuated text, I'm sure she's pissed at me," says Reed, 24. "I'll ask how her day is going, and if she replies, 'It's fine.' with a period at the end, I feel like I kicked her dog. She’s being short with me and I wonder what I did wrong."