5. The fire drill
We highly advise against pulling any tricks on America’s best and bravest, but there are some dates that warrant the fines, the embarrassment, and the potential jail time involved in pulling a fire drill when there’s no such fire to speak of. What kind of date would cause such a defiant and bold act?
When all else fails: she doesn’t care about diarrhea, your friend forgot to call you about an emergency, she carries around a spare EpiPen, and she wants to have a threesome with the “other woman.” When there’s nothing left to lose, you pull the fire alarm and hope to God she doesn’t notice you’ve started a full-on sprint into a taxi cab while everyone in the restaurant waits outside.
6. Try honesty
Just kidding. What are you, a sociopath?
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Jeremy Glass is a writer for Thrillist and once bailed on a horrible date with horrible diarrhea.