When all else fails: she doesn’t care about diarrhea, your friend forgot to call you about an emergency, she carries around a spare EpiPen, and she wants to have a threesome with the “other woman.” When there’s nothing left to lose, you pull the fire alarm and hope to God she doesn’t notice you’ve started a full-on sprint into a taxi cab while everyone in the restaurant waits outside.
6. Try honesty
Just kidding. What are you, a sociopath?
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Jeremy Glass is a writer for Thrillist and once bailed on a horrible date with horrible diarrhea.