Beyond porny influences and dirty misconceptions, our society in general tends to prioritize male pleasure over female. Men enjoying sex is seen as natural -- and essential! -- to the proliferation of the human gene pool. Men have to enjoy sex for the good of humanity! But women’s pleasure is at best a happy little accident; and at worst, vilified as slutty and shame-worthy.
We can see this at play throughout TV shows and movies. Movies that dare to show cunnilingus or an actual female orgasm are slapped with NC-17 labels. A woman’s “O” face is seen as more transgressive than rape scenes, shooting sprees and any f-bomb a movie could drop.
The pleasure disparity doesn’t stop once the curtain comes down. During a fairly routine argument about oral sex, a boyfriend once told me with evangelical conviction that “men need to be hard but women don’t need to be wet to have sex.” The ease with which he dismissed the role of female pleasure only half points to him being a selfish dick. The rest of that equation is the society in which that d-bag lived; one revolving around hard penises. I personally think hard penises are lovely -- but we also need to give some time and attention the warm (and hopefully wet!) lady bits that envelope said penises.