"If only [insert name of a distant ex] could get their shit together, they'd be perfect"
So the truth is, single ladies don't keep their exes in a revolving turnstile on the off-chance one partner with whom there were irreconcilable differences "fixes himself" and we can trot off into the sunset together.
Partners break up for a reason. Rarely is that reason (and all its accompanying baggage) resolved by some time apart or soul-searching. I spent my 20s working through garbage with the wrong partners and trying to make things work that wouldn't. Then I grew up.
"Who are you going with?"
To the bar, movies, restaurant, or friend's wedding. On vacation. Somehow, the fact I can go anywhere alone is out of the bounds of rational thought.
Reply, "No one," and you're met with this zinger:
"You're so brave."
Can we please do a bit better with our current expectations of women?
"I should set you up with my other single friend!"
Based on... ?
"What's going on in your love life?"
People are as comfortable asking me this as they are asking about my day. But for some reason, when I ask how their sex life is going with their husband or wife, they clam right up.
"I'm so happy I'm not single / I'm so happy I'm married"
When I do make the mistake of talking about the hijinks of a recent date or misadventures of a Tinder match gone awry, this is the stock response I get.