Reply, "No one," and you're met with this zinger:
"You're so brave."
Can we please do a bit better with our current expectations of women?
"I should set you up with my other single friend!"
Based on... ?
"What's going on in your love life?"
People are as comfortable asking me this as they are asking about my day. But for some reason, when I ask how their sex life is going with their husband or wife, they clam right up.
"I'm so happy I'm not single / I'm so happy I'm married"
When I do make the mistake of talking about the hijinks of a recent date or misadventures of a Tinder match gone awry, this is the stock response I get.
"I'm just living vicariously through you"
Cool, since my personal life is totally here as a source for your entertainment.
"Just have someone knock you up so you can have a baby before it's too late"
Oh my god...
"You can always adopt"
... I know?
"You're so lucky -- it's like impossible for me to stay single!"
Ugh. We've covered this one.
"You need to stop sleeping with people you go out with"
OH MY GOD please. A woman's right to sleep with someone is as much her choice as whomever she sleeps with. If both people want to do it, I don't see how that makes one of them less dateable.