What matters is this: People are always changing
From the day we're born to the day we die, we're in flux. People are always discovering new things, absorbing new information, and adjusting their preferences. How we identify, and what we claim as being intrinsically "ours," changes. Significantly.
Had Olivia wanted to transition while we were still together, I would have supported it. My girlfriend was a gentle, nurturing person. And that wouldn't have been changed by a pronoun, body part, or new wardrobe.
"Most people focus on Jacob's gender transition as this huge change: He was a woman, and now he's a man," Diane says.
"But I've gained and lost 200lbs during our marriage. He's changed careers three or four times; I've owned three media companies. We raised foster kids, went through a miscarriage, decided to become childless. His gender reassignment was tough for a spell. But in retrospect, it's just a blip. Today, neither of us is the woman we were in 1990. And for that, I'm actually grateful."