You approach romantic relationships with guys very differently
When you're surrounded by friends of the male variety, you tend to think guys may only be interested in you for that nature of relationship. But as one of my buddies very wisely clued me in, no guy initiates a relationship with a girl to just be friends. It can sometimes turn into that, but it's never the initial goal.
But there's something else to this, coming from the girl's perspective. I often view guys as non-romantic options from the jump, essentially friend-zoning myself. And believe me, prospective mates catch that vibe; often reading it as a "she must not be interested" rather than the more likely in my case "she's just entirely clueless she's doing this."
Let's just say I've doused plenty of potential sparks.
You're stuck being every guy's confidant, not one guy's everything
I'm living proof that an unbreakable, non-sexual guy-girl dynamic can exist. Still, it's naive to think those pesky laws of attraction don't occasionally rear their ugly heads. I've definitely experienced the frustration of serving as a man's go-to shoulder for all things love-related… and yet never being the person he's in love with.
And that's the dark side -- when, at some point, you wonder if this guy you've always loved so dearly might be actual boyfriend material. Then he comes over, holds your hand, and tells you: "I don't know what I'd do without you, I love you, you're the best." And then he gives you hugs and kisses and heads home to his girlfriend. It would wear on any person -- but there's a unique struggle for the girl who rolls with the boys, and realizes she's sought after for every role except that of the woman those boys want to love unconditionally, romantically… and forever and ever.
Would I ever actually change any of this? Absolutely not. These relationships have truly shaped my identity, and are a constant source of comfort for me; they remain long after the non-platonic ones come and go, which to me, makes them the most special ones that exist.
Plus, even tomboy Joey nabs Pacey in the end.
*Maybe we made out once, but it was a really long time ago… shut up.
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