Sex + Dating

Webcam tips from a former webcam girl

Photo: Adriana Siena

When interacting with actual women's just too...interactive, logging onto a live webcam site doesn’t actually make you a pervert. Not according to Annabelle T. Baxter, former cam chick, current erotic masseuse and author of Secrets of a Webcam Girl. Baxter's an expert on (virtual) flesh peddling, so keep your hands where we can see them, and get an eyeful of her do's and don'ts

  1. Limits. Sorry to burst your dot-com bubble, but webcam interactions are strictly virtual. In the event of any real world run-ins, the only thing more off-base than outing these women is thinking you actually know them.
  2. Do your homework. Know what you're looking to get out of the experience before you log on. If a communal watching experience and from-the-sidelines engagement's cool with you, then game on. But dudes seeking something more involved should try this new thing instead. It's called "porn".
  3. You are not a gross freak. Webcams are a safe outlet for experimenting and whatever you're not getting at home. Most guys on there are married, not mutants, so they're a million times better than dudes who actually cheat.
  4. Set yourself apart. Going private and paying her in "tokens" incentivizes interaction from your cam girl, but cash-strapped guys aren't completely out of luck. Sharing more about yourself, like your job -- not your name -- could help, by making things more human and less coldly transactional.
  5. This isn't chat roulette. Webcam women have something in common with other women: an aversion to genital photography. They are turned on by what they hear, not see. So start talking and remember -- if you must send photos, face shots are preferred.
  6. Don't live vicariously. Avoid spending hours logged on instead of hitting up happy hour to meet dateable women.
  7. If you've gotta go creepy... American and European cam girls tend to refuse particularly degrading requests. For the truly vile stuff, seek out girls from developing countries. Or better, a therapist.