Few roles in the traditional American wedding-ritual canon are more fraught with pressure than giving the obligatory toast in your capacity as best man, maid of honor, or whatever title your friend or family member wants to bestow upon you.
Hell, train-wreck wedding speeches have become a hacky go-to in pretty much any film involving a wedding, not to mention a tragically prolific YouTube genre.
But it doesn't have to be that way! No matter how petrified you are of public speaking and no matter how much you accidentally overdid it at cocktail hour, if you stick to these three rules you will be, at worst, forgettable, and, if you play it right, memorable in the best possible way.
"But I'm not funny!" you exclaim aloud to your computer, unfunnily. Don't worry -- this is a sympathetic audience that's been drinking. Or, hopefully they've been drinking, if it's a dry wedding maybe polish your material a little more.
No one is expecting you to get up there like you're Louis C.K., unless you happen to BE Louis C.K., in which case, I am honored you sought my wedding toast advice! But look, all you need here is a lighthearted one-liner or two. If you're the sort of guy who never wears a tux, make a self-deprecating joke about how it feels weird to be in a tux! If you ate, like, 17 bacon-wrapped shrimp because there were so many passed apps, use it!