That's right, billiard heads: a full 76% of women just don't care... or actually prefer that smooth, shiny cue ball set atop your neck. But you'd be wrong to think there aren't a whole lot of suggestions for what to do with that thinning mop. Here's a [closer look] at our pollsters' words of wisdom:
Tame the beast
"Get a good haircut! Nothing worse than a big balding spot in a bushel of hair!"
A few women came out swinging on this one; a full 10% of pollsters suggested a courtesy trim to just keep everything even and kempt so you don't join ranks with Doc Brown. If you can't find a happy medium, then...
"Shave off the rest, stop hiding it."
Almost 50% of the women in our study say a buzz is the way to go -- and of those, most responses included a first attempt at trimming even doing nothing. But, of course, that all depends on how it looks:
'Try to look good bald'
"Embrace the inevitable. Try to look good bald. Whatever you do, no Donald Trump-inspired 'dos. That's a DON'T."
Hopefully this was a given.
"Work with what God gave you and carry it with confidence. There are a lot of very attractive bald men in this world."
Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Mr. Clean...
"He should just keep being an awesome person. The hair is no big deal."
Because being awesome > being hairy. Letting it go was popular with 40% of the women polled.
"Wear a hat as often as possible."
Four percent of women polled don't ever want to see male-patterned baldness. Unless...
Size > hair "Embrace it, and flash a winning smile. If he's confident, hair (or lack thereof) is easy to overlook. Besides -- if he's well endowed down below, I can be more forgiving of what's on top."
Because size trumps hair. Every time.
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Nicole Caldwell is Thrillist's Sex & Dating Editor and isn't gonna lie -- she likes a full head of hair.