Welcome to In Bed with Gigi Engle, a weekly column in which sex and relationships writer Gigi Engle answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits! From threesomes to anal, unrequited love to cheating: we want to hear it all.
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Dear Auntie G,
Two years ago, I began casually seeing a guy for about four months. One day, he ghosted me and fell off the face of the earth.
About a month ago, my best friend met a guy at a bar who happened to be best friends and roommates with the guy who ghosted me. And last week, her new boo showed up to meet us at a club... and brought my ex along.
My heart sank in my stomach, but I played it cool and we were friendly to each other. About an hour later, we ended up hooking up. I went back to his place and slept over. The next day we got up, kissed goodbye, and I left.
I haven't heard from him since.
Now that I've been ghosted twice by the same guy, how should I handle seeing him around because of our mutual friends?
Let me give you some outside perspective on this jerk.
First of all, the fact this person ghosted you AT ALL says a lot about him. You dated him for four months! It’s not like it was two dates and he was like, “Peace out, homegirl.” To dip out without explanation after almost reaching a half-year mark with you is seriously rude, hurtful, and immature.
If he was a guy worth dating (or worth anything at all), he would have just called you or asked to meet for coffee and said he wasn't feeling it anymore. It stings to hear someone doesn’t want to hang out with you anymore, but at least it gives you closure. When you leave someone hanging, it forces them to ask hundreds of unanswerable questions about what could have happened.
What a selfish, disrespectful man-boy.
Ghosting is a coward's way out for people too chicken shit to address their feelings. My guess is one of two things happened: he was over you, or he got overwhelmed by his feelings. His reaction to either was to run. Bottom line, though: the "why" DOES NOT MATTER. This is not a guy you want anything to do with. He deserves to be banished to the Island of Fuckboys.
Now, for part two of this mess.
How ironic that your friend would start dating a ghoster's bestie/roommate. Just goes to show how the universe loves to play the meanest tricks on us. Tough love here, babe! You really shouldn't be surprised that he ghosted on you again because he already did that before when you dated for FOUR MONTHS. You just had a one-night stand with a man who had already shown you how little he values you.