Sex Tips for Boring People: Cheaters, Crying After Sex, and the Chode

man and woman in bed sad

Why do some people cry after sex?

Nothing makes you feel better after sex than your partner bursting out in tears, reassuring you the whole time it's not you, it's them.

"No one knows for certain why some people cry after sexual intercourse," says Dr. Michael Krychman, executive director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine. "But the reality is, some women do. Orgasm is a multifaceted, emotional experience which is a culmination of a physical and psychological release. Some women may experience extreme emotional release, either positive or negative, at the time of orgasmic sexual bliss."

So... maybe it IS you. But, not in a bad way.

Danny Devito human chode
<a href=";pl=edit-00">Helga Esteb</a> / <a href=";pl=edit-00"></a>

Do chodes really exist?

While it's true that most women prefer girth over length in a penis, there is always an exception to the rule. When a dude's junk is shaped like Danny DeVito, that might be where we draw the line. The chode is an elusive, mythical specimen of male genitalia traditionally defined as a penis that is wider than it is long. But has anyone ever actually seen one in the wild? Are they real?

Anatomically, a chode IS possible; however, again, much like unicorns and leprechauns (THEY EXIST), it is extremely rare. What is more likely is that the penis will be stumpy. Some might even go so far as to describe it as "rotund." We're not saying this is a bad thing, if you happen to have said oblong shlong. Each penis is its own special snowflake.

woman in phone on bed

My boyfriend left me for his mistress, but still sexts me. Can I tell the other woman?

Oh, this is all very messy and bad. First of all, I'm sorry this happened to you. I am also sorry for the next person you date as you will (justifiably) be suspicious of every female in his life who isn't a blood relative. Your ex-boyfriend is a douchebag, no question, and it's cool to be pissed as hell.

This whole thing has drama and mess written ALL OVER IT. My suggestion? Eliminate him and her from your life for your own sanity. The best, most mature thing to do would be to tell your ex-boyfriend to stop immediately, that he made his choice, and if he continues you will politely inform his new girlfriend about his late-night extracurricular activities.

It's safe to say she knew about you when you were with this guy -- meaning she willingly dated a cheater. That's their problem now, not yours. If she did that to you, why would you look out for her best interests? That said, I'll admit that in a world of "tit for tat," telling this woman what her boyfriend is doing is about as justifiable as it gets. So long as you’re not sending photos back and encouraging him, clueing her in is pretty low on the Hammurabi code of law.

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Meagan Drillinger is a contributing writer for Thrillist. All of her dates are tax deductible. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @drillinjourneys.