"When I was 17, I had to download pornos overnight. I had to run a phone line from the telephone jack in the kitchen to the basement, where my room was. So I tried one morning before school, because I was really excited to see everything I downloaded the night before. I wasn't exactly flexible and I had scoliosis, but I was determined to make this work. I had to position my clunky computer a certain way so I could see what was going on, while trying to fling my legs behind my head. I figured climbing the wall would be best, but after a lot of neck pain, I settled for a regular, sad jerk-off session. Whatever, I still got mine. But guys will never stop trying -- mostly because of bragging rights." -- Matt, 31
The guy with a proud success story
"Of course I tried it. I even succeeded once, which I am very proud of. And also kind of sad about; I fear I will never be able to bend my back like that again. But oh well! It was worth it.
"I was 14 and just watched Chloë Sevigny go to town in Brown Bunny. Of course I was like, I want that to happen to me as soon as possible. But considering I wasn't allowed out past 9pm and no one my age knew what this movie was, I was pretty much stuck. So I came up with a brilliant idea: to do it myself. Being that I was an athlete and straight-up determined, I did it. It was weird at first, but I got over it pretty quickly. And honestly, it made me feel better knowing what to expect when I got my first real blowie from a girl. Unfortunately since that one time, I haven't been able to make it happen again. I blame the fact that I spend eight hours a day sitting at a desk. But you know how awesome it is to say, 'My dick is so big, I could once blow myself?' Pretty fucking awesome." -- Nicholas, 36