Sex & Dating

Sex Tips for Boring People: Strange Smells, Weird Sounds, and Sleepy Sex

Published On 10/16/2015 Published On 10/16/2015
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Sex Tips for Boring People will take your sex life from vanilla to passion fruit. Or at least from vanilla to vanilla bean. Find more sexy advice right here.
 

Is it normal to fall asleep during sex?

Normal? I mean, it’s certainly not abnormal by any means. Sometimes you’re just really, really tired. You had a long day, or you had that extra glass of wine, or it’s taking a really, REALLY long time for your partner to finish. Seriously, how the hell are they still going?
 
So, yeah, look, sometimes you fall asleep during sex. It’s not a reflection of your partner’s skills (although in theory it could be, especially if Marathon Man doesn’t get the hint that it’s time to call it quits). If you’re banging Narcoleptic Ned/Nancy, on the other hand, and they’re falling asleep every single time, you might want to have a talk. Or get better at sex, because that shit’s putting people to sleep. Just kidding. (Kind of.)

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What do I do if I’m put off by my partner’s, um, odor?

Welp, good luck, my friend. This is a conversation that NO ONE likes to have. But, unfortunately, you need to have it. That is, if you want to keep habitually sexing this person.
 
Sadly, some people in this world aren’t the freshest below the belt, for whatever reason. It could be improper hygiene, or it could be due to body chemistry that needs to be properly maintained, or could be for reasons that are entirely out of their control. You could plug your nose and bear it, but sex should be fun for everyone involved. And while that’s mighty chivalrous of you, you’re probably going to get tired of that real fast (your partner, meanwhile, might get a little weirded out by you clamping your nostrils shut) .

The important thing to remember is to be sensitive. A simple, “Baby that’s some dank shit” might not be the route you want to take. I suggest swinging more compassionate. Try complimenting the things you do enjoy first to soften the blow, and then politely point out that sometimes it’s not exactly Downy’s Summer Rain down there. Make sure your partner knows you enjoy pleasing them and want to keep doing it, and that this is merely a suggestion… but seriously, they need to hose that shit down, stat, if they want your head to keep making the trip down south.

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What is a queef? How do I know if it happened?

Aside from just incredibly awkward? A queef is nothing more than expulsion of air from the vagina. It is not a fart, although it sounds pretty much exactly like one, and the shame women experience when one thhhhhwfts out is remarkably similar.
 
This is silly, though, because a queef is entirely natural. (And it’s NOT a fart, guys, come on!) When you’re having sex there’s a lot of space being created... in there. Said space allows air to get inside, especially when it’s being pushed inside. And then that air comes out. That’s it. It’s science. You’re a human. IT HAPPENS. And it’s not a fart.
 
How do you know if it happened? Trust me. You will know. Much like an orgasm, if you aren’t sure if you queefed, then you haven’t.

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Meagan Drillinger is a freelancer for Thrillist and once fell asleep during sex. She woke up before her partner noticed, though. Not really sure what to make of that situation. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at @drillinjourneys.

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