Timing is everything
The Olsen twins both have boyfriends 20 years their senior. If Mary Kate or Ashley was approachable and not icy fashion prodigies, I would love to ask how they make it work.
In my case, the age gap was actually a cavernous black hole defying space and time. He didn’t want to get married (again). I knew I eventually wanted a family. He didn’t want to be raising a kid at 60. I got that; but even though I knew there was no future, I didn’t cut it off completely. I still liked the guy.
Eventually, it did fizzle out. Instead of just getting a hit of Botox, he was set on partying to prove it to himself and everybody else. A 50-year-old playing 30 grew past its prime for me.
It’ll age you
After it ended, he talked to a lot of people about our relationship -- and what happened through the grapevine was unexpected. Another lesson in dating: a fling with someone in your professional/personal circle is more often than not bad news. Older guys instantly thought they had a shot. Some guys my age made fun of me. Women judged me as having an ulterior, economic motive: “She just dated him for his money,” or “She thought she could get ahead.” In our society people are so quick to judge a young, naïve woman -- never the older man who perhaps should’ve known better too.