5 Things You Should Never Say to a Teacher on a Date

It was a long Sunday; the majority of which had been spent working on an assessment report for one of my students who was struggling in the classroom. I'd spent all afternoon analyzing data and outlining academic goals.

I'd planned a dinner date for that evening with a brown-haired, handsome man: my reward for a day of hard, unpaid work. We were meeting at Blue Dog, my favorite place to get a burger while hopefully making some sort of connection with whomever sat across the table from me. We met up, exchanged pleasantries, and sat down. As our conversation turned to our careers, I knew instantly the only thing I'd be enjoying on this date was the burger.

As he imparted a running commentary dissecting my job as a resource teacher, I counted the moments until I could return home and never speak to him again. And after reliving this date with many of my teacher friends, we came up with a simple, short list of things to NEVER say to an educator you're out on a date with.
 

"Following a curriculum" only works when every single child understands every single concept at the exact same time. When teachers practice lessons on our own, we do it perfectly. We ensure the lesson covers everything and reaches every student. It's amazing how well lessons go during practice run-throughs.

Then, we do that perfectly planned lesson with the students and too often it falls apart. It doesn't matter that we practiced, or that we were sure the lesson plan was perfect. Some kids will get it immediately and want to move on, some may need it retaught several times... as an educator, your job is to figure out how to work with the kids at the top, kids at the bottom, and kids in the middle so everyone gets what they need at the same time. Yes, it would be easy to just follow a curriculum if it weren't for those crazy kids.

It's like they have minds of their own.

When people say this, I wonder whether they've actually ever babysat. It's been many years since I took that role on, but I'm pretty sure babysitting didn't include teaching someone letter-sound correspondence or what it means to subtract or add. Babysitting did not include teaching things that aren't in that curriculum I apparently mindlessly follow, like problem-solving or conflict resolution. Babysitting did not involve laying the groundwork so that students will be able to understand new concepts in order to be successful in the next grade.

Certainly there's an element of childcare involved in teaching younger grades; though kindergarten teachers definitely do not have it easy, either. Sometimes they have children who have never been in pre-school so not only are they having to learn things like numbers and letters, but also sharing and standing in line. Yes, standing patiently in line is something that needs to be taught.

Teaching: exactly like babysitting, except not like that at all.
 

Yes, a summer off that you don't get paid for. THAT is the dream. It's an unpaid break. The only downside is, of course, needing to eat, pay the electric bill, or use the internet. Oh right -- that's why so many teachers take other jobs during the summer.

As for those other "built-in breaks"? We spend them working. Lunch and recess are spent quickly preparing for what's happening next, or taking a much-needed bathroom break because teachers have become experts in the game of how-long-can-I-hold-it-in-until-I-explode. Although, I'm still curious about this hour-long lunch break people who don't work in education get. What do you do for a whole hour?

Totally. Then after 3, you get to plan for the next day! That typically takes several hours. Writing an assessment report about how a child is doing in school could take up to five hours or more, depending on how much detail you want to add. You have to prepare for every possible thing that might happen the next day. In addition to the planning, you also have to grade papers, answer emails from parents, meet with other teachers, and make sure the next day you are ready to go again.

Added bonus: any work you do before 8am, after 3pm, during the weekends, holidays, or over the summer? Yeah, you don't get paid for any of that. All those supplies teachers have? More often than not, we've paid for them. And believe me: they ain't cheap.

And, that last comment will end the date. No teacher on Earth has time for that.

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Meredith Lee is a Thrillist contributor who is single and is forced to date a lot when she really wants to stay home. Tweet her, follow her, or send her snacks at @meralee727. You can also find her on Facebook or over at her blog.