Sported by: Zach Galifianakis, half the dudes at Thrillist
What it says: That you recognize an opportunity in the relaxed office policies of today and increasingly liberal female grooming preferences enough to give it a shot. And, once you did and your patchy growth fears were put to rest (score!), you decided to go with it.
The verdict: While we like your face enough to not want you to cover half of it up, you're right -- this is usually a win in our book. (Ed note: the Thrillist men in no way attempted to coerce Ms. Sellitti into speaking highly of beards, especially not by standing over her chair as she typed, silently stroking their sweet, casual beards.)
(Just the) tip: For bald men, keep 'em cropped. Unless looking like a character in the game "Guess Who" is what you're going for.