Every so often, an article comes out claiming you can tell a lot about a girl by her drink choice. Usually this article is about women -- and increasingly, specifically, women who drink whiskey.
People send these stories to me, a whiskey-drinking woman, with messages like, “This is sooo you.” I read the articles. And they are! They are sooo me. Just like the zodiac animal I'm reading about on a Chinese restaurant placemat is sooo me -- until I realize I'm reading about the wrong corresponding animal. So I look up the right animal and assure myself, “Oh yeah, no, that ox is definitely me!”
The description of the whiskey girl is vague and pleasant enough that any woman would want to identify with it, even if it's only half as accurate as that Chinese placemat. All of which wouldn’t be so problematic until other people, particularly the men you date, start associating you with this vaguely cool description of what it is to be a whiskey girl. And inevitably, the whiskey girl will disappoint; because no human being can be condensed to one un-oscillating set of characteristics.