I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream, my cardigan, and, of course, the Tinder app.
My fantasy -- a beautiful blonde surfer -- came to life when I matched with a man fitting that description after a mere five minutes of otherwise fruitless swiping. I was already imagining our amazing first date, during which he would teach me to surf and I would teach him to... braid hair.
Soon after, I received a message notification. "Do you like having your asshole licked?"
What is wrong with Tinder?
I understand I'm not on this app to find a husband, but come on. Tinder is the absolute worst. So why do we continue to swipe like the wind?
My theory? Tinder's filled with tons of people, myself included, who are looking for something, but just can't quite put a finger on it. Some are looking for an ideal partner, some are looking for a one-night stand, and some are trying to get over their exes (since the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else).
In this addictive virtual world, technology is there to help us make game-time decisions about whether we'd bang and/or date someone. Usually, said choice is based solely off of a photo that's probably three years and 30lbs ago. We label people, criticizing them before even reading their bios (do people still read bios?). Just as we're judging new matches, the same's happening on the other end. Like, what's this dude thinking about my photos while I look at his and assume he's overcompensating for a tiny penis with his weightlifting photos? We're all under scrutiny, but we have to remember, we willingly signed up for this shit!