I'll be first to admit I experience no shame in substituting a trio of hearts, flamenco dancer, or exclamation point for a sentence wherever appropriate. Texting and online dating have made acronyms and emojis staples of conversation -- and sometimes, nothing is as articulate as a smiling pile of dogshit.
But even if stand-alone images and punctuation marks are high-functioning replacements for complete sentences, there are still those those fleeting moments when we choose to use actual words, strung together all in a row, to communicate. And in those cases, GRAMMAR STILL MATTERS.
I'm not saying it's unforgivable to have an occasional autocorrect blooper or typo, aka act like a human being. BUT! Your text messages shouldn't read like accidental texts sent by my 5-year-old niece. If you split an infinitive, so be it -- but using the wrong form of "there" really has that special je ne sais quoi guaranteed to kill my lady boner. Here's why.