Sex + Dating

Why It's OK to Have Sex on the First Date

fuck on the first date
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

Ever heard of the "third date rule"? I bet you have. It's that lame dating rule of etiquette where you're supposed to wait until the third date to have sex. It's all entrenched in traditional (read: sexist) values, casually disguised as "playing hard to get."

As someone who spent many years never listening to this rule, chasing the D all over town, and then finally deciding to get a boyfriend, I can tell you this practice is a load of shit. I fuck on the first date because it's the only way to live.

I'm not trying to say you HAVE to have sex on the first date if you don't want to, I'm just saying you shouldn't feel guilty should you decide to go for it. It's 2016. Waiting around, soaking up BS, outdated dating code is such a waste of time.

Don't deprive yourself of a good eggplant or cat-heart-eyes emoji, friend. Go ahead and get down on the first date.

Here's why.

Bad sex is not a fun surprise

I get that people want to wait to "get to know someone" before they bang them. If that is your MO, you do you. You should only sleep with someone when you're ready. Whether it's the first date or the 20th date, that's up to you.

For me, I'm not trying to get broadsided by a dick I'm not willing to work with or someone who doesn't know what they're doing in the sack. Bad sex? I'm out.

You need to know what you're dealing with downstairs before you give into any kind of emotional connection, aka catch feelings.

I'd rather get the sex part over with and go from there. If it's a good situation and homeboy knows what he's doing with it, I'm down to go on a second date. If not, bye.

You're a human being

It's OK to have sex with someone on the first date because you have needs and you shouldn't have to apologize for them. There have been so many times when a girlfriend of mine will call me after a date and say something like, "I fucked him. I really screwed up."

You didn't screw up! What was there to ever screw up? You're an adult person with agency. You get to decide what happens or does not happen to your body. Sex is a part of life. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the moment and going with the flow. It's a date. Aren't dates supposed to be FUN?

Who has time for mind games?

We're all just trying to get it and everyone should just enjoy themselves and have sex. I hate that people meet up and pretend like the main reason they even said yes to this date in the first place isn't because they wanted to get some choice booty.

I prefer my first dates to be open and honest. I'm not trying to play coy over here. I'm just trying to meet a nice, normal person with a decent penis, you know? I can't be bothered to act like I'm some "good girl" societal trope bullshit thing.

You can either date me as I am, a sexually liberated female who is AMAZING, or you can not date me. I'm not going to play this game, friend.

Sex is FUN

Sex is the best. In a world full of so much chaos and violence, sex is one of those rare and natural pleasures that we all deserve to have without repercussions. Orgasms should be had on a daily basis by everyone. Maybe that would inspire world peace.

Just because it's the first date doesn't mean the sex won't still be a really good time. If it feels right, go for it.

If he or she doesn't call, that person isn't someone you want to date anyway.

Let's be real, the main reason you're not banging someone on the first date is that you're afraid of being slut-shamed and not getting a second date. If you go on a really great date, fuck that person. If they don't call, that says a lot more about that person than it does about you.

Frankly, you shouldn't want to date someone who would be so immature and rude. If you bang someone and they ghost you, screw 'em. They suck and aren't worth your time.

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Gigi is Thrillist's Sex and Dating staff writer. She is a human being and so are you, so everyone have sex. Follow her lovable crazy on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram @GigiEngle.