So too is it no coincidence that the farther I drew myself into the loving, supportive, protective arms of sex workers, feminists, and queers, the farther I felt myself growing from my desire for men.
And yet, I couldn't shake men entirely
The problem is, I didn't want my desire for men to wane. I had consistent sexual and romantic relationships with men throughout my teens and early 20s, and even as I came into my queer identity I still sought their companionship. But as I became more culturally and politically conscious, well, good men became harder and harder to find.
While I've been fortunate enough to work with a few genuinely ethical men on a handful of porn sets (men I'd personally hand-picked to perform with me) it's been more than four years since I've had any consistent intimate contact with them outside "the office." Considering how heterosexually slutty I was in my formative years, even acknowledging this feels alien.