Safe sex is cool in the LGBT community
In the LGBT community, being safer-sex savvy makes you one of the cool kids. It makes you more desirable as a friend, fuck buddy, or partner, and helps legitimize you as an ethical, intelligent individual. In mainstream society, however, straight folks are still told that safe sex is tragically uncool. That it is somehow less connective than fluid-bonded sex, that it dulls sensation, and is inherently non-erotic. Combine these sentiments with the societal disease I see as fragile masculinity, and you have a population of men (though of course not all) who feel entitled to unprotected sex... and a population of women being pressured into having sex that isn't as safe as they would have originally liked it to be for fear of hurting men’s feelings.
These misconceptions are so pervasive that when faced with a potential sexual scenario with a man, even my logical, experienced, queer-as-fuck sex educator brain reverts back to its vulnerable adolescence and believes them.
Over time, my desire for people operating within a rigged system faded
My waning desire for men over the years is not unlike what happened to my love of stand-up comedy. When I was a kid, I used to wait until my parents had gone to sleep to sneak downstairs and turn on Comedy Central specials. But as I matured, so did my understanding of patriarchy and oppression. When you finally realize you're surrounded by a system designed to keep marginalized communities poor, quiet, and complacent, the tools employed by many stand-up comedians -- sexual objectification of women, profiling people of color, stereotyping LGBT individuals -- stop being so hysterical.