Sex + Dating

Attention, Single Ladies: Being in a Relationship Doesn't Mean You Give Up Your Friendships

Attention, single ladies everywhere! Yes, I am talking to you!

Can we talk for a second? Something has been on my mind. Call me paranoid all you want -- but it seems to me that the second a lady gets into a relationship, the squad goes MIA.

I'm sorry to call all the single ladies out like this. I don't know if you're meaning to be dicks, or if your behavior is just coming off as dick-ish by proxy. As a gal with a boo, I just think you need to know about a few things here. We coupled girls still want to chill with you. Having a boyfriend doesn't make us lepers, OK?

Coupling off doesn't mean I'm codependent

I still want to do things with you guys. Coupled people have interests outside of relationship-land. We are not in high school or college anymore. Boyfriends are no longer douche-monkeys we chase around like sad puppies. It's not about bragging about a relationship and it's not the bullshit "You'll find someone someday, sweetie" card (even though you guys will because you are badass).

What I'm trying to convey here, ladies, is that being in a healthy, happy couple doesn't make a woman a pathetic dependent in a relationship. She doesn't need to be with her boyfriend every single second. I certainly don't. I don't put him before you when we have plans. I'm not going to bring him everywhere I go or back out of girls night last minute just because he wants to hang out with me.

Newsflash: I WANT to hang out with you, OK?

We have boyfriends, but we love our friends and it's annoying AF when we're forgotten. If a woman is really happy and in love, shouldn't you be stoked for your friend?

Women in relationships STILL need friends! We need to support each other! I don’t like feeling as though I'm being punished for having a boyfriend. You wouldn't like this feeling, either. What does it say about women if we banish a girl from our group just because she gets a boyfriend?

We girls in relationships still love you. WE MISS YOU. We didn't betray some bond of sisterhood by falling in love. It's literally what normal people do. It's low-key why you're all on Tinder.

I know a lot of women get into relationships and become assholes. They do everything for their boyfriends and leave their squads by the wayside. But not all of us do that because we're not dicks. We are independent women with LIVES of our OWN.

To be honest, I feel left out

I mean, let's be real for a second. I'm fucking lonely without friends and I know all us coupled chicks are lonely. We see all you single ladies and your pictures on Facebook and Instagram, out on the town or at a concert, and think, "Where was my invite?" And then we get mad at you guys because that is literally so rude.

When I call my friends out, they say things like, "Oh, we assumed you had plans." How would they know if I had plans without asking me?

I am still fun. I swear, I am still fun. Being in a relationship shouldn't render a woman incapable of enjoying herself while out with her girlfriends. I want to dance. I want to get dressed up. I want to hear about your lives.

I support your dick-hunting adventures! I do not judge you or feel sorry for you for wanting to get that D. I love the D! Is that what this is about? Because we coupled girls want to wingwoman the fuck out of you. You get that dick and live your best life. GET IT.

If anything, a girl with a boyfriend would be a better support system for you when you're out to catch a man. She remembers the thrill of the hunt. She used to be really good at it. We need friends, whether or not we have boyfriends. At the end of the day, a lady needs her girls.

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Gigi is Thrillist's Sex and Dating staff writer. She’s in a couple and is feeling vulnerable. She still loves you lots. Follow her lovable crazy on Twitter, iTunesFacebook, and Instagram @GigiEngle.