Editor's Note: Want to learn about naked yoga? How to navigate an NYC sex party? Other sex and dating things? Check out previous Sex on Friday stories here.
And on the morning of the Sabbath, He came down from his six-story walk-up for bodega coffee, while She met her friends for boozy brunch and tales of her one-night stand with Him, including the part where -- after the awkward morning Exodus -- she admired his floor-to-ceiling windows and wondered how much rent would be if they ended up moving in together, even though they only slept together one time and She didn’t know His last name.
And it was at that very moment that down from Mount Sinai (on 96th St), where we just were for our most recent STD tests, we brought forth these 14 commandments of NYC dating. And they read...
1. Thou shalt lower thy expectations
Those lessons you learned when hunting for your first NYC apartment can also be applied to dating. Something’s gotta give. Windows in the bedroom means you forego a closet, even though you’re still paying $3,000 a month. Your date is funny, hot, and you both thought the Cronut was stupid, but they live in Sunset Park while you live in Gramercy. Or, they are mildly attractive in dark lighting, won’t eat carbs (this means no bagels or ramen...), but they live like... one subway stop away. Suck it up. Nothing is perfect.
2. Thou shalt not stress thy age
While all of your friends in Hasting, Minnesota were wifed up at 27 with child number three on the way, you are 32-years-old, still doing Pickleback shots on a Tuesday night, and sleeping with the bartender. And you know what? You’re still awesome. If you’re unmarried and under 40 in NYC, you’re doing just fine.