Level two: You’ve made it through the Glass Joe-equivalent first round, and now you’re chatting
Progress! Let’s see if that date actually happens. The odds are not forever in your favor, Katniss. What will probably happen is you’ll talk a lot about meeting up -- because you both LOVE ping-pong, and you should totally do that! -- but never actually will. From there, the (dare I call it) “courting,” will likely go something like this:
Tinderer 1: So how about next week?
Tinderer 2: Slammed at work that week, can we do next Friday?
Tinderer 1 [after contemplating wasting a Friday on a stranger]: I’m actually out of town that weekend.
Tinderer 2: Alright, well here’s my number [redacted]. Hit me up when you’re back and we’ll figure it out.
Spoiler alert: you didn’t figure it out.
Level three: The in-person meet-up seldom goes well
If someone actually documented the levels of emotion I’ve experienced from getting ready for first Tinder dates, they would Baker Act me. It quickly spiraled from cute outfits and positive thinking to having a burrito waiting for me when I got home, because there was no way I was staying through a dinner. I realize how negative that sounds, and that you should always keep an open mind, and that’s true, you should. But it’s also true that after enough first dates with people who pretty much blatantly lie about themselves and/or are totally insane after weeks of Level two-coordinating an in-person meeting, you can’t help it.