Sex + Dating

Watch videos, get dollars, go to clubs

From some enterprising folks who understand that finding the best vegan-punk strip club that serves breakfast in the city with the most per capita can be a chore, SSM’s a new e-guide highlighting the finest shimmy-shacks via music-packed, high-quality, kinda-SFW visual tours they call "the finest videos to date" -- which’s probably true, as most videos won't show skin until you've taken them to the Cheesecake Factory at least twice. Some of the beautiful, pole-filled madness that'll help you find the booty:

Devil's Point: To the metal oomph of LSD&D, a hairy biker hits the Point, slurps down a shot, and gets his beard tugged by a cane-wielding lady in lingerie, even though he has a tramp stamp reading "Check Me Out", the same unanswered plea of every Tucker Max book in every Portland library.

Acropolis: The small but completely badass Mini-Marilyn Manson, Nick Sin, takes a break from normalizing relations with Mini-China to stuff himself with steak while somehow not being blinded by quaking butts in day-glo bikinis.

Hawthorne Strip: Local '70's funny man and MC Ed Forman sports his finest wide lapel leisure suit at the Strip, while sharing a hot dog with a dancer, in case you’re looking for a Ballpark on what she earns in a night.

More videos are being produced even as you read this while covertly shielding your monitor, and along with the eye candy, SSM also maps the locations of each jiggle joint, details its hours, links to useful reviews, and has plans to release an app and 3D content in the future, despite double D's being the actual PDX standard.