From a quad of Europe-to-Cali imports (at least one of whom dominated a Polish university), Soul2Match is a freshly launched dating tool/ service operating on the premise that the most blissful of couples look alike (i.e. dog owners) and, therefore, matches users by employing
nerd magic advanced mathematical equations to compare 1000pts of reference, which is also something you could accomplish by accumulating a crap-ton of World Books.
Following the only logical course, we've compared aesthetically pleasing Chrissy Russo with some potential baby daddies, and might have even found him:
Compatibility Score: 23%
Compatibility Comment: “Hmm, that is not too bad.”
Editor's Note: Johnny and Chrissy's common bond of decades(?) of schooling to become meteorologists, followed by the daily stress of having to predict SD's insane weather patterns, is probably enough to bump this up to, like, 23.1%. Just kidding, John, she would never date you.
Compatibility Score: 72%
Compatibility Comment: “You have found what love is!”
Editor's Note: The obvious safe(ty) bet, Eric's All-American mug and annoying handsomeness is definitely enough to set panties on fuego at En Fuego, but who knew he and our lady of weather would have their very own lightning bolt-esque connection.
Compatibility Score: 87%
Compatibility Comment: “True love!!!”
Editor's Note: They're apparently banking on Chrissy's love being completely blind, or Buscemi's face just overloaded the system by showing it clips of him banging not-ugly lady friends on Boardwalk Empire. Either way, go get 'em, kids!