Wanna put my tender heart in a blender -$400 (brooklyn)
Never date a corporate lawyer. Here's how it goes. You match him on Tinder and give him a chance even though he ghosted you after one date. You never get an explanation for this beyond "I was looking for something specific," which sounds like another lawyer or some Woody Allenesque waif-bot, but most Brooklyn dudes want that, so fuck it. He has nice hair. He apologizes, claims to hate True Detective, and laughs at all your jokes.
He's kind. Not like other corporate lawyers, you tell your friends, who smile painfully. He wants to leave Wappen & Kladden! He has values! He's sensitive! You've never been happier, and he says he's never been happier, and for the first time, you know you're in love.
You spend a fortune on dates and don't care. He makes three times as much as you, but you want to prove you're not after his money.