14 Ugly Christmas Sweaters That Will Dominate Every Holiday Party

Holiday cheer, but make it tacky.

Tipsy Elves
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On par with baking cookies and trimming the tree, there are several newer traditions that have come to define the holiday season: Belting out Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You”; pretending not to be completely creeped out by Elf on the Shelf; and, best of all, trying to upstage your friends at an ugly Christmas sweater party.

No longer an item you’d only find hidden in your great aunt’s closet, ugly Christmas sweaters are a true harbinger of holiday cheer, signaling our collective desire to cozy up and laugh at ourselves. There’s truly no better (or tackier) way to chase away the winter blues. So if your closet is currently free of PVC garland and cringey puns, now is the time to join the masses and buy an ugly sweater of your own.

Luckily for all the last-minute shoppers out there, Amazon is flush with options that seriously level-up the gaudiness factor—we’re talking LED string lights, obscure movie references, and even a tribute to Taco Bell. We did some deep diving and rounded up some of our favorites below: the good, the bad, and the…well, you know.

U LOOK UGLY TODAY Christmas Pullover Sweater

This hooded pullover has classic ugly Christmas sweater staples—printed string lights, garland that looks like it was hot-glued onto the sleeves, etc.—with the added bonus of a tree plopped on top of your head. If you’re not going big, you might as well go home.

Tipsy Elves Gaudy Garland Sweater

Buying Christmas trees is for amateurs. True revelers become Christmas trees, courtesy of this Tipsy Elves sweater covered with green garland and shiny ornaments.

Ahegao Cat Sweatshirt

Cat sweaters are their own special subgenre of ugly Christmas sweaters, usually emblazoned with some form of “Meowy Christmas” or “Santa Claws”. This cat collage sweatshirt really shoves the idea in our faces, which is exactly what an ugly sweater should do.

JOYIN LED Light-Up Reindeer Sweater

If you really want to make an entrance at your office party, people should be able to see you coming from a mile away. The solution: Wear a sweater with functioning light bulbs, like this option from Joyin. (Yes, the reindeer nose lights up, too.)

Memetic Rock Christmas Sweatshirt

Are you sick of people trying to take the “Rock” out of “Jingle Bell Rock”? Remind them of the true meaning of Christmas with this sweatshirt, featuring Dwayne Johnson’s glowing countenance.

Tipsy Elves Stocking Stuffer Sweater

Equal parts fashionable and functional, this Tipsy Elves sweater has an open stocking on the front, conveniently sized to fit one full-size wine bottle. It even has a hidden pocket for your phone, ensuring you’ll win the “Most Practical” award at your party this year.

Taco Bell Christmas Sweatshirt

The world needs Taco Bell-themed Christmas sweaters more than ever. The fast food chain offers this simple yet classy shirt in four different colors, inviting us all to trade eggnog for Fire Sauce this year.

Blizzard Bay Clown Sweater

If you find yourself wishing it was still Halloween instead of Christmas, this horrifying clown sweater is a nice compromise. The “Happy Holidays” written in a murdery font is a particularly lovely touch.

Bangyeer Black Bear Pullover Sweater

From the dabbing gingerbread man to the blatant tufts of chest hair, this sweater is guaranteed to spread tons of holiday cheer. It’s also one of the least expensive options on this list, which…makes sense.

Costume Agent 3D Reindeer Sweater

There are 3D sweaters, and then there is this sweater, which comes with a bisected plush reindeer that attaches on the front and back with Velcro. The brand offers similar sweaters with sharks and dinosaurs, but this reindeer option is definitely the most festive.

Wild Bobby Office Sweatshirt

Whether Kevin’s chili scene from The Office makes you laugh or cry, give it the respect it deserves with this comfy crewneck sweatshirt. Your office Christmas party may not compare to those held at Dunder Mifflin, but you can still make a lasting sartorial impression.

Ugly Christmas Titanic Sweater

Finally, a sweater that will appeal to your religious grandma and cinephile cousin at the same time. This Jesus + Titanic mash-up boasts great reviews, with customers praising its high-quality fabric and cheeky subject matter.

22nd Century Christmas Golden Girls Sweatshirt

This may be one of the most perfect pieces of clothing in existence, from the smiling Betty White to the excellent puns. If you show up to your party wearing this (ideally with a cheesecake in tow), you’re sure to be the belle of the ball.

Wild Bobby Couples Sweatshirts

Pay homage to the best characters in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation with this set of sweatshirts, available in several different colors. Chances are only a few people will catch the reference, but those are the people worth keeping on your Christmas list anyway.

Caitlin Morton is a travel and lifestyle writer based in Kansas City. You can follow her on Twitter @CaitlinMorton23.