15 Fun & Thoughtful Gifts Under $100 for People Who Hate Valentine's Day

The great, glorious, commodified universe of Internet Shopping has plenty to offer even to the Valentine’s naysayers.

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Looking for love in 2022 is no walk in the park (even if dating in the midst of a global pandemic does, often, require walks in the park).

Beyond our laundry list of COVID concerns, we’re also contending with plenty of other romance-inhibiting factors: ~41 different dating apps, a lexicon of ever-updating relationship terms (think: “situationship”), and worst of all, the cold (famously, park walks are even less sexy in sub-zero temperatures). Which is all to say, it’s tough out there. So if you’ve already found love, hold on for dear life. And don’t you dare forget about Valentine’s Day.

Look, we get it. Valentine’s day can often feel like a gauche, tacky excuse for a “holiday.” Candy hearts are hardly a proper manifestation of love—and frankly, ye olde 14th of February often feels more like an excuse for a brief spike in Amazon Prime orders than anything else. But all the same, this is a designated moment for you to show your someone special that a) you love them and b) they should never ever ever ever leave you (ever).

Lucky for you, the great, glorious, commodified universe of Internet Shopping has plenty to offer even to the Valentine’s naysayers. And as experts on the matter, we can help you cut through all the noise in pursuit of gifts that feel appropriately creative (and affordable). Ahead, shop our picks for the absolute best Valentine’s day gifts out there for people who, well, hate Valentine’s day—all of which fall under $100. Then, pride yourself on knowing you won’t have to get back on Raya any time soon.

Full of Pride Mugs
Our Place

As the ancient proverb goes, when in doubt, gift a mug. But in all seriousness, there’s always a tenderness to gifting a particularly artful mug to someone you love. It’s guaranteed to go to good use in a cozy, prosaic way—and if you get a set of two, the romantic implication is that you’ll use them together

Classic Turkish Cotton Slipper
Parachute

Let your special someone know just how often you’re taking their foot warmth into consideration with these classic, minimalist slippers made of Turkish cotton. Simple enough to match any loungewear ‘fit and handsome enough to walk the dog in, they’re the sort of shoe that everyone ought to own in at least eleven variations. 

Cotopaxi Bataan Fanny Pack
Cotopaxi

Whether you and your partner are planning on attending a (Zoom) rave or traipsing off into the woods for a rustic, multi-day hiking experience, this particular fanny pack will certainly prove to be a welcome accessory. It’s loud, it’s fun, and everybody (yes, everybody) could do with a little more hands-free storage.  

'Golden Girls' 2022 Desk Calendar
Urban Outfitters

Yes, you should pay tribute to Betty White on Valentine’s Day—and every day afterwards. 

In The Cards: How to Read Tarot Class (Plus Tarot Deck)
Uncommon Goods

Designed to be used as a divining method for everything from professional woes to sexual hang-ups, a Tarot deck might be just what you and your partner need to spice things up this V-day. Plus, they’re trending on Witch-Tok. 

Riedel Extreme Martini Glasses, Set of 2
Macy's

Of course, if there are martinis involved, they simply must be sipped from designated martini glasses. And while you could read romantic overtures into this set of twin, sleek vessels—you could also shut up and drink your martini.

Boy Smells x Kacey Musgraves Slow Burn Scented Candle
Nordstrom

This ain’t no Yankee Candle Factory situation. From independent, fundamentally cool candle makers, Boysmells, this Kacey Musgraves collab candle is “Slow Burn” scented—which means it’s as sexy as it is tasteful.

Bluetooth Banana Phone
Uncommon Goods

Second,only, to Juno’s all-important Hamburger Phone, this banana-shaped device will add some panache to the drudgery of returning phone calls. 

Ferm Living Still Carafe
Nordstrom

We can’t tell you why, exactly, a carafe is such a sexy gift…but we can confirm (with a 99.9% guarantee) that it’s an endlessly tasteful accessory to keep on a night stand or a table top—whether or not it’s actually utilized as a water vessel. 

History by Mail Subscription
Uncommon Goods

If your person is a bonafide, card-carrying Civil War buff—or a history buff on any count, for that matter—History By Mail is the only gift to give. Every month, the mail-order service sends subscribers detailed replicas of various historical documents (think: letters exchanged between Einstein and FDR), each of which is painstakingly recreated to match the original  by a team of graphic designers. 

Vans X Tierra Whack Reversible Bucket Hat
Vans

In spite of our best predictions, the bucket hat trend has persisted. So if you’re looking to grace your partner with some fisherman-adjacent headwear of their own, at least go with something limited edition—like this specialty Vans x Tierra Whack collaboration number. 

Frida Kahlo Jigsaw Puzzle
Nordstrom

What could be more romantic than an 884-piece jigsaw puzzle of a Frida Kahlo self portrait? The answer is: Nothing (save for perhaps an 885-piece jigsaw puzzle of a Frida Kahlo self portrait).

'Jazz Covers' Coffee Table Book
Nordstrom

As far as coffee table books go, this one is an instant crowd pleaser. Shockingly enough, it’s filled with…record covers—the likes of which date from the 1940s through the early 1990s. Offering plenty of key information about both the musicians, and the artists behind each album, it’s also educational. Two birds, one book.

Garden Party Mixology Gift Set
Uncommon Goods

If you were looking for a way to make drinking more wholesome, boy do we have a gift for you. This “botanical infusion” set includes a hydroponic grow kit with organic (non-GMO) rosemary seeds and a glass infusion flask, so you and your special someone can season your liquor with a bit of natural flavoring while commending yourselves for a hydroponic farming job well done.  

Red Lip Couch
Funboy

If your Valentine is, a) the sort of person who can truly appreciate a novelty gift or b) a TikTok celebrity, search no further than this wildly gaudy-on-purpose. ‘70s-style neon lip couch. It’s just the loud, viral kind of gifting punchline 2022 demands—plus, it floats. 


Bonus points if you can deliver it fully inflated.  

Eliza Dumais is a former staff writer at Thrillist. She now works as a lifestyle editor at Refinery29.
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