Sock Puppet Showgirls

You probably thought American theater could go nowhere but down after last February's tragically brief run of Point Break: Live! To find out just how wrong you were, go see Harvey Finklestein's Sock Puppet Showgirls. That's right: an hour-long adaptation of the 1995 Paul Verhoeven classic, acted out by socks. The Chicago-based show garnered such rave reviews at the New York Fringe Festival, Finklestein decided to bring his socks back to NYC, instead of retiring them to a dark drawer with Elizabeth Berkley. Like Berkley, these woolen foot-bags aren't afraid to get dirty. Besides delivering timeless dialogue like "I like having nice tits!" the puppets also give violent lap dances, beat each other up, and have crazy pool sex under a neon palm tree. There are also moments of tender sock lesbianism. To better fete this epochal production, Ace of Clubs will be serving Showgirls-themed drinks: the Las Vegas Iced Tea, the Sex in The Pool, and of course the the Harvey SockBanger. Even if you're not a signature cocktail fan, you should still down ten -- by which point those socks will start looking even sexier than the real thing.