Give the departed one last, posthumous hunting trip

As recent reports indicate that most people die, and that coffins are mad boring, you should probably think hard about AL-based Holy Smoke: a company founded by two state law enforcement officers/game wardens that lets you honor your dearly departed by putting their cremated remains into live ammunition, so you can fire them off into the great beyond, or at any game animal they once enjoyed sending there themselves.

Just call and tell 'em what your loved one enjoyed doing with guns, and they'll help you decide caliber, gauge, and other ammo parameters; once the funeral service providers handle their business, just kindly ask them to ship Holy Smoke one pound of ashes, so they can prepare the bullets you will use to freaking shoot your buddy out of a gun at things.

That one pound is enough to get a measured portion into 100 standard-caliber cartridges for rifles, 250 for pistols, or 250 shotshells in specialty loads like bismuth, steel, migratory bird, buckshot, or slugs, all of which'll arrive in 2-3 days, which is a pretty quick turnaround for snail mail.

They've also just finished a new round not even on the website yet, in which the ashes are mixed with red-, white-, and blue-colored powders, and, for an additional $100, your shells'll arrive in name-engraved, finished wooden carriers they say're "mantle-worthy", in case you would also like them to become ammunition for really awkward conversations.