Reinventing human athleticism, four goals at a time

It's been a while since we got a new sport -- tennis dates to 12thC France, golf to medieval England, and baseball to a time when half the country hated the Yankees. Huh, the more things change... To enjoy a sport invented partially because there'd been a lull in new ones, get out and play some Kronum

Cooked up in the 'burbs, Kronum's debuting its rec league this year, giving you a chance to play this outdoor ball game that mixes the hand skills of basketball with the footwork of soccer, and requires "the full range of human athleticism - speed; agility; flexibility; multi-directional mobility; strength; aerobic fitness; dexterity of hands, feet, and mind", proving that Michael C. Hall is good at more than just handsomely murdering other murderers. Some rules

  • You play with a volleyball-sized ball, which also explains how John Kruk has children
  • Four goals on the field, 10 guys to a side, with two goalies on each team
  • Game consists of three 20 minute periods, which sounds like an improvement over a week or whatever
  • Aim is to score on either goal your opponents defend
  • Goals are worth up to four points depending on how far away you are
  • A score in a net is worth one point
  • There're also holes cut over the goal; if you score in one of these from any range, you get double points, hopefully from Manny Ramirez
  • There're four zones ringing the goal; you can use your hands in the one nearest the goal and the two furthest away
  • Penalties range from change of possession, to time in the penalty box, to ejection
  • On defense, you're limited to the same hand rules, but can slide tackle; if you ask nicely enough, they just might teach you, teach you, teach you the electric slide tackle

You can sign up for the rec league now, or if you'd rather remain blissfully inactive, "fans" of the organized teams can vote online to set the starting lineups and game strategies, which for the Yankees this year will presumably be "Cry about Cliff Lee while feeding A-Rod popcorn."