When it comes to a heated rivalry, you have to take sides, unless it's Team Edward vs. Team Jacob, in which case the only sides that matter are the ab ones on Taylor Lautner. Team Jacob 4 life!!! Take your side in a more manly rivalry, with exclusive Sox & Cubs tees.
With the annual interleague showdown fast approaching, we hit up a cadre of local designers to create never-before-seen, rivalry-stoking tees you'll want to get your hands on...unless you're Moises Alou, in which case you're probably too busy peeing on them to bother grabbing anything else. The rundown:
Tattooed Tees: For the South Siders, a worn-out, vintage-style joint with "Die Hard Fan" written in script and a faded painting of an old pair of socks, while for the Cubbies, a disheveled, "W"-flag-waving teddy bear who's missing an eye, though it's kind of incredible he's still a fan after facing Ben Christensen.
Chitown Clothing: Hoping to bring Cubs fans some relief, CC's latest implores "Don't Hate On 1908"; for the Sox there's a baseball-dotted rendition of the Hawkism "Don't Stop Now Boys", which he also reportedly said when security came and dragged out Wimpy.
The Fineprint: Paying homage to each team's rising star Latin shortstop, Ramirez's propaganda-poster-style portrait is flanked with crisscrossed bats and the proclamation "Viva Alexei", while Starlin's gets "Viva Castro", which coincidentally Alexei no longer is forced to say at missile-point.
Because people like free things, Thrillist'll be giving away some of the new tees on Facebook, though if you're Taylor Lautner and you're reading this, do everyone a favor and never bother wearing a shirt again!