High-energy gym whips you into shape

It generally sucks when purchases require commitments: what happens if you buy a two year plan only to discover your service is horrible, and then are stuck with those absolutely futile tennis lessons? For the rare purchase where the commitment is sort of the point: Farrell's eXtreme Bodyshaping

A minimalist, machineless, 2500sqft Southeast sweat palace that won't let new members do so much as a single hip abductor until they've completed a mandatory, intensive 10 week (6 days per) intro class, FXB's now opening up shop in Denver after turning Iowa into the sexy beacon of hard bodies that it is. After some initial humiliating measurements (weight, body fat, circumference of various things), you'll begin alternating between two classes: a heavy bag-heavy kickboxing/Taekwondo hybrid routine (interspersed with plyometrics like lunges/squats), and a less cardio-centric, more sculpt-focused "resistance" cycle using "anaerobic bands", but not anorexic bands, as they just don't have the Stones. As part of the sign up, you'll also get have to attend a nutritional seminar that emphasizes "natural foods" and calls for eating six times a day; and, since money seems to be a motivating force for everyone, the most hotly changed body (measured by the previously mentioned metrics) after ten weeks will win $1,000 cash, ensuring your wallet'll be so fat, you'll have to enroll it in this very program

Because the whole course follows an incremental schedule where everyone starts/ends together, anyone who wants in on their inaugural winter sesh has to enroll by Friday; sign up now if you want any chance of getting some ace by the time spring rolls around.