They say if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself, but they didn't count on the fact that, in all likelihood, James Franco is already on the case. Letting you do it yourself, for wheel: Foffa.
From the Aldgate pedal pros, this just-launched, fully custom bike-builder lets you online-design your own version of their Prima fixed-gears, which they'll then build in-store before your eyes, the very pinnacle of be-spoke service. First, choose from a slew of options for body colour, handlebar styles, and wheel types, plus smaller details like adding chain/crank colour, Brooks saddles, and the colour of the forks, which if you're at all consistent with your non-biking life will be "dirty". Further customization comes when you head to the workshop, where possibilities are "limitless" with pigment-matching (spray-painting the frame to literally any colour you provide a sample of), the ordering of any obscure/rare parts, and the offering of whatever's new on the shelves; they'll also "tweak the bike to your height, reach, and grip" (who knew methamphetamines could be so constructive?).
Once they've slapped it together, they'll let you take it for a test run -- changing anything you like/don't like afterward -- for anything up to a couple of weeks, though after 127 Hours, you should just be thankful for what you've got.