Because who wants to boogie?

Because boogie boards falsely advertise that you can dance on them, and surfing is kind of hard, check out recently launched, Venice-based Slyde Handboards, which match the sleekness of surfboards with the I'm-kind-of-lazy-and-would-rather-lay-down-ness of that other watersport you actually can do.Shaped by a South African surf dude to perform both in deep surf and on shorebreaks, each double-and-triple-layer fiberglass-and-epoxy board's about torso-sized and looks like a monster arrowhead, w/ a super heavy-duty hand strap, a speed-gathering sleek front and a steep-turn enabling, concave-looking "Swallow Tail", also the weirdest fraternity nickname ever. Art on the boards is all commissioned from sweet pros, with options including the "Hot Head" featuring a dude who looks like a psyched-out Keith Richards, the "Blu Ray" (an alien hanging 10), and the Dr. Seuss-looking "Fat Cat", which definitely does not look Nermal. If you can wait a minute, you will be rewarded, as they've got two more shapes in the works to launch soon, the one-handed "Khaya" and the all-tree "Woody", also something else you're no stranger to sporting.