The Burt Dodgeball Tourney & Mustache Expo

This clearly super-serious three-day event pays homage to the sport that made you a legend at Walter Reed Middle (well, that, and the fact that you knew all of the words to Snow's "Informer"), w/ tournaments all three days, including a Sunday bracket dedicated to newbies. Oh, and each advance registrant also gets ('natch) free tickets to see M.C. Hammer at Club Nokia on Cinco de Mayo.