Lifestyle

Short-sided soccer, now with more walls to shove people into

One part soccer, one part Mad Max, and no parts Nic, Soccer Cage is exactly what it sounds like, except plural: three netted-in, hockey-board-equipped, stadium-lit "cages", whose unusually tight quarters make for action Ian Darke would describe as "useful but chippy" and Alexi Lalas would describe as "wasn't I so much cooler when I had that huge goatee?" Each of those cages (largest: 60x120ft; smallest: 24x48ft), as well as two bigger 6-on-6 fields with full-size goals, is laid with Italian-imported synthetic turf, and is fully lit so you can nutmeg that loser Lance deep into the night. Your options for play:Pick-up Games: Just show up during one of the allotted times with your sick Diadora turf shoes, and the owners will realize you're super-good and place you in a game against guys who are actually really good, then immediately drop you down to the correct level, in which everyone wears Reeboks.Rent Your Own: For hourly rentals, bigger fields = more $, but you can pack as many people as you want (within reason) into the cages for a match, or just snag the small one for yourself to practice not getting nutmegged, Lance.Leagues/Tourneys: Pretty soon they'll be rolling out full-on weekly leagues with playoffs and the works, plus corporate tournaments including one between the local restos in Brickell, which're also zero parts Nic Cage, as he only eats at Prime One Twelve.