It's well-known that every man wants to fly, even if Sugar Ray did his best to make it uncool enough to ruin the whole thing for everybody. Well forget that chump, put on some Chumbawamba, and get flying with Jetpack Adventures, just launched in Key West
Combining man's eternal dream of flight with his eternal need to find something to do in Key West while he's not having nightmares about all those cats at Hemingway's house, Jetpack equips you with just that -- yep, a goddamn jetpack -- which's completely powered by water pressure, also a Billy Joel song that's basically just him complaining about how much his showerhead sucks. To get soaring, strap on the crazy/beautiful backpack, which's connected to a boat by a 30ft hose that provides 500 pound-feet (that's 2220 Newtons, son!) of thrust by shooting insane amounts of seawater through ports set up behind both shoulders; you'll use joystick-like controls to take off, make crazy-quick turns, hover, and even basically walk on water, finally vindicating scholars who've long believed that Jesus did, indeed, own a water-pressure-powered jetpack. Before taking off, you'll run through a brief training session and get fit with a helmet and personal flotation device before hitting the water, where an instructor will fly you like a toy airplane via remote control before letting you take the reins, and presumably fly like a much-less-well-controlled toy airplane
Jetpack's got plans to soar through the skies of Marathon next month, and if you're just that special, you can actually contact the maker, Jetlev South East, and pick one of the packs up for yourself "for the introductory price of $99500", also what Mark McGrath raised in under two hours in Celebrity Apprentice, by giving people the choice of either listening to his music, or giving him $99500.