Superhero Scramble

Even if you insist on dressing like Forge, the X-Man who was really good at building stuff from other stuff, and having a pornstache, you’ve gotta enter Superhero Scramble, a 4-mile, extreme-obstacle-packed race challenging everyone "from the biggest couch potato to the most extreme athlete”, so if you owned a No Fear shirt at some point, you’re good to go. The dirty

  • You can compete solo or as a team, and dudding up in superhero gear's both highly encouraged and highly rewarded, with prizes from World of Beer, Smart for Life, and Evolution Fitness, so that’s a Darwin-win.
  • 25 obstacles include muddy crawls under barbed wire, scaling wood walls, and battling your way through giant-pad-toting Marines. And don’t forget the tire pyramid, fire-jumping, and the "Leap of Faith", which’s where Steve Martin makes you wear that shiny jacket and talk about God a massive water dive.
  • If you can't complete an obstacle, prepare yourself for Super Spins, for which you've gotta pop your forehead on a stick and spin 10 times. You will find this is considerably less fun while not drinking.
  • Expect You Can’t Do That On Television-levels of slime, including on the crazily long "Slime Slide" and the "Slip 'n Slime", which was only named that because Crocodile Mile doesn’t make for good slime puns.
  • Think you're a real superhero? Well, someone was clearly hugged too much as a child. But you can still throw in an extra $30 for a shot at winning up to $3K if you’re the top finisher.

Everyone gets a free t-shirt (sadly not from No Fear), so they can look exactly like everyone else at a post-race shindig with live music, food, and free beer, helping you to Forge a relationship, but only with the chick in the Jubilee outfit.