Lifestyle

A seriously baller boat, for fishing

What's more fun than deep-sea fishing on a tiny, old, possibly stolen boat that's overloaded with people, including Nick Elliott, who's always puking up medianoches? Well for one, playing Time Crisis in a movie theater for 12 hours straight. But also, chartering a trip on VIP Fishing Charters' 65-foot stunner “Engage”, about the baller-est fishing experience this side of hitting 195 with Juwan Howard

Your captains will be two non-threateningly grizzled seafaring brothers named Ron and Howard, both of whom are better-looking than Clint Howard, and will bring you to waters teeming with sailfish, swordfish, sharks, wahoo, dolphin, and tuna, promise not to make fun of how terrible you are at fishing, and will even handle baiting hooks if you are indeed terrible at fishing like they've been saying behind your back. If you invited Juwan Howard on this too, and want to impress him, take him to the air-conditioned mezzanine w/ a fighting chair made of teak literally just to be awesomely flashy, the salon with a huge sofa, wine cellar, and satellite TV, or the den with more flatscreens, a bookcase, and a desk, so you can read The Other Boleyn Girl while on your expensive fishing charter yacht

Best of all, if you do snag something, they'll clean your catch and deliver it to a top restos around town, who'll prepare a full dinner for your friends to enjoy while you curl up in a booth waiting for the Dramamine to kick in well past medianoche.