They say that sports are 90% mental, so stop playing them immediately: you don't want to make your brain any more appetizingly swollen, because next month's Run For Your Lives Zombie 5K is fast approaching.
Turning a serene motocross track just outside of Millville (approx 1.5hrs SE of civilization) into the epicenter of the world's most physically fit zombie apocalypse, RFYL is a first-time-in-Minnie 5K involving running from the moaning grasp of the living dead. The "zombies", which may or may not actually be volunteers wearing rags and face paint, will be snatching at the three flags on your "health belt", but otherwise not permitted to make any physical contact; make it through with at least one left and you'll be awarded a survival medal, along with the knowledge that had this been the real apocalypse, you would have survived long enough to live on rats in the forest while pondering how everyone you've ever loved has died. Unlike San Fran in the late '60s, hills and Deadheads aren't the only thing that'll be making your life terrible: you'll also have to contend with 12 obstacles including a “sewage system” filled w/ mud and trash, a series of fences (way scarier than they sound!), and, umm, "maybe some blood."
After the race, winners, losers, and brain-eaters alike will be invited to chillax at the Apocalypse Party, which'll have food, bands, beers, and even camping, as driving back to the cities afterwards would be totally mental.